Wedding Advice – Honeypot Registry

The ‘B’ word – how to make a wedding budget you can actually stick to!

Budgeting – the very word can strike fear in the hearts of many; not least if you’re planning a wedding! Luckily, we’re here with our top tips for how to plan a wedding budget, as well as our super useful free wedding budget template and wedding savings planner template.

So how do you set a wedding budget that’s actually do-able?

Figure out how much you’ve got to play with

A wedding budget is generally always finite – made up of how much you can save by your wedding date, and how much others (usually parents) are contributing. Setting your wedding date further away, or looking at ways you can cut down your spending can help you achieve the budget you’re hoping for. Open our free wedding savings planner template in Google Sheets and make your own copy to figure out just how much you’ve got to play with it. Check out our video below for how to use the template to figure out your potential savings!

Set your priorities

We talked about this in our last blog about how to get started with wedding planning, but it’s just as important here – figure out what the most important things are to you, and assign the most money to them. Is an amazing photographer a must have? Budget for the one you want and look for ways to cut costs in other places. Keen for a big bar tab? Make sure you’ve budgeted that in.

Do your research

Now it’s time to figure out what the average cost of things is – and unfortunately that can vary a lot! Use resources like the Wedding Discussion Group – New Zealand on Facebook to search for what others have paid, get recommendations, and ask for anything you are trying to gauge the price of. A photographer could be anywhere from a grand to well over ten grand, so getting an idea of what others have paid can be helpful.

Set your wedding budget

Now it’s time to put those numbers in! Decide what you’re comfy with for each item and put that into your budget. If the budget adds up to too much – look for where you can cut costs on the things that aren’t as important to you. And don’t be afraid to change the budget up as your ideas about your wedding changes – so long as the total doesn’t change, you should be all good!

Not sure where to start? Use our awesomely useful free wedding budget template to create your own budget. Get it here and watch the video below to find out how to best use it, plus get a view of a real-life wedding budget!

Wedding Advice, Wedding Planning

First steps: How to get started with wedding planning

Honeypot co-founder Verity is newly engaged and ready to share her tips – but what needs to happen first?

So I got engaged just over two weeks ago (woohoo!) and there are already heaps of things to think about. My fiancé, Matt, was fairly surprised when I immediately kicked into wedding planning mode, which he should not have been given my penchant for organising everything well in advance.

I’m lucky in that I’ve had a couple of years in the wedding industry and so already had a good idea of what I wanted to do, but I know for a lot of people the thought of wedding planning is this horrendous mountain to climb. The number of people saying ‘good luck!’ when they find out you’re about to start planning a wedding isn’t super helpful either…

Luckily, that’s what we’re here for! To make your wedding planning journey as smooth as possible.

So you’ve just gotten engaged – what do you need to do first? Here are my top 3 things to help you get started with wedding planning:

Get your ring insured

Whether your fiancé had already chosen the ring or you’ve gone out and picked one together, the last thing you want to think about is losing your gorgeous new engagement ring. Unfortunately, it can happen (believe me – my mum lost not only her original engagement ring AND her replacement one).

If you’ve already got existing contents insurance (which I’d recommend anyway) then it’s pretty easy – give your insurer a call and ask them to add a specified item. This is important as many contents policies only cover items up to $1000. You’ll need to know how much the ring is worth (either how much it cost or a valuation provided by a jeweller) as well as a basic description of the ring. I called up AMI to add my ring and it was actually really lovely – as soon as I said the specified item was a ring she asked if it was ‘a very special ring’ and immediately got super excited for me when I told her we’d just gotten engaged. Go Melissa at AMI; you did the impossible – made sorting insurance exciting for me!

If you don’t have contents insurance, there are also specified jewellery insurances out there. Just make sure you read the policy – some policies have rings covered only if you’re wearing it at the time (which is a bit shitty if you take it off to protect it while doing the dishes only to lose it!) The other important thing is to prove that you actually own it – luckily with the number of photos newly engaged people tend to take of the ring, you should be okay!

Have a think about what’s important to you

Your wedding is about the two of you, and no-one else. As tempting as it may be to go the whole hog and do everything that wedding mags tell you is totally necessary, that’s not actually true. And with the cost of weddings being seriously insane (we’re aiming for well under $20k and that seems to be a cheap wedding by most accounts), it’s important that you’re not just spending money for the sake of spending money.

One of the best ways to avoid doing that is by considering what’s important to you – sit down with your fiancé and each write down the things that matter most, whether that’s getting time together alone, a gorgeous dress, amazing photography, having everyone you love there, delicious food, a kick-ass party, or keeping it small. Try and figure out what things are common across both of your lists, and decide 3 or 4 main things that you want to focus on so that you don’t get distracted by all the other ‘nice to haves’.

For us, our most important things were having time with each other, being surrounded by all our friends and family, having delicious food, and making sure that everyone’s having fun, so we’re focusing on those four things to design how we want our wedding to feel and look.

Make sure you do this before you start any planning – otherwise it’s really easy to get swept up in what your wedding ‘should’ be like.

Make a rough guest list

Finally, start to have a think about numbers. I know this seems early, but it will affect so many things about your wedding planning – what kind of wedding you’ll have, what venues you’ll be able to use, and most particularly, how much your wedding is likely to cost. I have a big family and several groups of friends from different areas of my life, so it’s already been tricky figuring out who would be on the first draft.

Ask yourself – are we inviting the whole family? Are we okay with just immediate family, or just aunties and uncles and no cousins? Is this friend someone who we think we’ll be friends with in two years or are they someone who plays a big part in our life now? Do we know that friend’s partner well enough to invite them, or have they been together so long that they’re a package deal?

Make a first draft and then go back to it a day or two later – we discovered we’d missed a couple of important people but also realised that we could cut a few other people. Hopefully, you’ll start to get an idea of numbers, even if you change who’s on the list later.

We’ve managed to keep ours to just under 100 which I think is rather an achievement (I think Matt was worried I’d end up with 300 on my list) and are planning on getting married at a venue where only 100 will fit – so we’ll have to keep it under that!

Next week I’ll be talking all about starting a budget – what to include, what some average prices might be, and how to keep track of everything. Check back in then!

Wedding Advice, Wedding Planning

Bride to Bee: My engagement story

I’ve known I would be marrying Matt for a long time.

Within a couple of months I knew he was a keeper and within six months I knew we’d be spending the rest of our lives together.

Not only is he funny, kind and smart, he, like me, has coeliac disease so has to eat gluten free – so just convenient really! 😛

We’d talked about marriage, and I knew he was saving up for a ring. Yes, I am a feminist but yes, I was still very excited about the thought of him proposing and never considered doing it myself. I thought it was only fair since I’d asked him out in the first place – make him put some effort in after all!

Soon after Christmas, I was walking down to Takapuna Beach to meet him for lunch (he was having to work over the Christmas period). I even had a think along the way that perhaps he might propose that day. It was where we’d had our first date after all! But given that he had to return to work for the afternoon, and wasn’t down on one knee when I arrived, I figured it was probably just a normal picnic.

We had a lovely picnic, and he’d even come prepped with flowers as an apology for not having my Christmas present on the day (I’d been giving him shit since then). However, after I’d shoved my gob full of delicious food and far too many scorched almonds, he cranked out the line of ‘actually I do have your Christmas present here if you want to open it’ and a suspiciously ring-sized Christmas present shaped box.

This is the box:

And apparently this was what my face looked like when he pulled it out:

I pulled a ring out of the box, which he took from my hand, and then he asked me to marry him. It’s mostly a blur, but I believe my reaction was to leap on him (not the ring, so I’m gonna take that as a good sign of my priorities). He’s still not sure whether I actually said yes, so we’ve just taken that as a yes anyway!

So what does this all mean for you?

Well, I’ve been writing Honeypot blog posts for a long time now, but it’s always been using other people’s input and ideas. Having been doing this (and trawling Pinterest) for ages, I’m in a pretty lucky spot – I already have some good ideas for how to get started and what I want.

However, because I know it can be pretty overwhelming if you haven’t already been looking at wedding websites for the last two years, I’m inviting you to come along with the wedding planning journey with me! That’s where Bride to Bee comes in…

You’ll get blog posts from a real bride in real time – I’m going to aim to put up one new blog and video every week (hold me to it if I get slack!) to share where I’m up to in the process and give you as many tips and tricks as I can. I’ll also aim to do a few live videos where you can join in the conversation and ask questions about what I’ve done or the other knowledge I’ve got from time working in the wedding industry.

Follow the blog by hitting follow on the right –> or make sure you’ve liked us on Facebook to keep up to date with all the videos and blogs – next week I’ll put up my first proper video, all about the first things you need to do when you get engaged. Are you ready to come with me on the crazy journey that is wedding planning?

Wedding Advice, Wedding Planning

Getting your wedding invitations right – top 5 tips from an expert

We love working with other awesome wedding businesses in NZ to make sure you get the best advice possible for the wedding of your dreams. This month, we’re super excited to welcome Kelly from Creative Box to share a few of her gems:

INVITES – YOUR QUICK 5 TIPS

Hi there, this is Kelly from Creative Box, a New Zealand wedding stationery business. Our friends at Honeypot thought it might be handy if I put together 5 quick tips for planning your invitations…

THE DETAILS: Ensure you have all the important details included on your invitations. These include: the wedding day, month, year and time, full ceremony and reception venue address, and RSVP details.
THE NUMBERS: It’s likely that lots of your guests will be couples and they’ll only need one invitation between them. Therefore your invitation order may be smaller than your actual guest list. Always include a couple of spares in your order too, just in case.
PROOF PROOF PROOF: Honestly, proof it backwards if you have to, or get someone you trust with spelling and grammar to do a second proofread.
POSTAGE: Keep your invitation and envelope size within the standard size and thickness so you don’t have to spend extra on postage.
GIFT REGISTRY: As today’s couples typically have been living together for a while and have accumulated all the traditional wedding gifts well before their wedding day it is quite acceptable to ask for money towards a large purchase, a holiday/honeymoon or house renovation. Though you may feel a bit awkward asking for money just let your guests know what their contribution will be going towards, so when they see your honeymoon photos or enjoy dinner on your new deck they know it’s thanks to them.

If you haven’t got your invites sorted yet, or need some help bedecking your wedding in gorgeously designed signage, Kelly’s your girl (just check out some of her gorgeous work below) – drop her a line at kelly@creativebox.co.nz

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Wedding Advice, Wedding Planning

One year (and 6 months) of being married – a husband reflects!

The Honeypot blog tends to be a bit female-heavy on perspective, so we pulled in our resident guy, Shane to give his thoughts on what changed – and what didn’t – after getting married.

This blog was initially going to be “one year of being married” but since deadlines aren’t my friend, it’s now 18 months later. Whoops!

So here we go – a guy’s thoughts on marriage 18 months after our wedding:

Some things were very different

Calling Katie my “wife” was very odd. Being engaged for just under 18 months before the wedding, I barely had time to adjust to “fiancée” before upgrading to “wife”. So for about 3 months after the wedding, I said things like “my girl f—, fia—, wife(!) Katie…”. And don’t get me started on the number of forms I had to scribble on after ticking “de facto” instead of “married”…

Then there was the ring – I never wear jewellery, not even a watch, so suddenly wearing a ring was a big deal. I noticed it all the time. It made my hand heavy, it clicked and bumped things, it was strangling my finger. It’s less noticeable now but I still don’t often wear it around the house only put it on when I leave the house (like shoes) or when people come around (like pants).

Some things never change

Life goes on – bills needed to be paid, food needed to be bought, Netflix needed to be watched. After this big hype of the wedding and the honeymoon, where everything pretty much got put on hold, within a week everything else in our lives just went straight back to normal.

What’s more, Katie was still the same person – she didn’t suddenly become the “old ball and chain” (a cringeworthy phrase) or some homemaker housewife. She still left open olive jars on the kitchen bench and I still didn’t make the bed before going to work. We still laughed and argued about the same dumb things.

We suddenly had money again

Weddings are expensive. Most the money related matters leading up to the “big day” (and by that, I mean the day before the wedding when all the suppliers needed to be paid in full!) involved sticking to our budget and saving extra money where possible. But now, we’ve got money again! Suddenly payday meant there was disposable income!

I didn’t know what to do next

A weird feeling I had for a bit after the wedding was emptiness of purpose. We’d spent just over a year focusing all our time and energy on planning a wedding (and launching Honeypot!) that afterwards I didn’t really know what I was supposed to do. It was more that I could do a whole number of things but had taken a year hiatus from thinking about them.

Funnily enough, the practice we had budgeting, planning and saving for the wedding was very handy. We ended up applying for 2-year working visas and moving over to the UK for our OE.

The “kids” discussion

Apparently there’s a social script that suddenly starts running when you get married (and don’t already have progeny) and it dances around the innocent query of a particular time frame. Most people navigate the “so… kids..?” questions subtly enough, but there others who are (a) more bothersome (siblings), (b) have less shame (parents), or (c) aren’t good at nonchalant (grandparents).

My current response is we’re getting a puppy first.

So the wedding was a big, stressful, exciting, one-off event but 18 months later? A lot of stuff changed, a lot of stuff stayed the same. Some things happened and some things didn’t happen. All in all, it feels a lot like just getting on and living life. Just now it’s with my wife beside me instead of my girlfriend!

Wedding Advice, Wedding Planning

The Fine Print: Legal Requirements for a NZ Wedding

With all the planning, advice and decisions surrounding a wedding, sometimes we forget that there are certain legal requirements for any ceremony. I heard a story recently about a couple living in Australia who planned to marry in New Zealand. They, unfortunately, assumed their Australian celebrant friend could officiate at their wedding, and since this isn’t the case had postpone their ceremony at the last minute and go to a registry office! To help you avoid this scenario, I enlisted the help of our fabulous celebrant Desiree Mason. Whether you’re having a traditional church wedding or getting married on top of a mountain(!), all New Zealand weddings must include the following:

An officiant

In New Zealand, there are two legal ways to get married – through a registered celebrant like Desiree, or through the registry office. Wedding celebrants can be secular or religious (e.g. a pastor), as long as they are registered in New Zealand. Desiree must ensure that her registration is updated regularly.

A marriage license

This must be obtained at least three days before the planned ceremony. If you have a great celebrant like Desiree, they will probably ask you to organise it earlier so they can fill in the details in advance. You can download the application form here. You will need to know some details of the ceremony in order to complete the form, such as the location, date and celebrant. After sending the form off, you will be posted a marriage license and two versions of the “Copy of Particulars of Marriage,” all of which should be sent to your celebrant. According to Desiree, her obligations include: “formally identifying the couple on the marriage licence as the people that I am marrying, sighting the licence before the ceremony to ensure that the details are correct and holding the ceremony at one of the places named on the licence.”

A wedding ceremony

Your ceremony can include almost anything you like, but there are some “must-haves”. Desiree says as a celebrant, “I need to use the couple’s full names at least once in the ceremony and ensure that the couple says ‘I (full name) take you (partner’s name) to be my legal wife/husband’ sometime during the ceremony”. There must be two witnesses to the ceremony who must not be intoxicated and are able to understand what is happening. If the witnesses do not speak English, then an interpreter is required. The interpreter needs to sign a statutory declaration before the ceremony saying that they will interpret what is said accurately.

Signing the wedding registry (not the Honeypot kind!)

This usually happens straight after the ceremony, and involves the couple and witnesses signing the two versions of the “Copy of Particulars” at the ceremony. According to Desiree, the couple must use their pre-wedding signatures. The celebrant will send off one copy to the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages within 10 days of the ceremony, and the second copy will be given to the couple.

Of course, a good celebrant’s role includes far more than the minimum legal requirements. When we got married, Desiree’s planning advice was invaluable and she works really hard to understand the couple on a personal level. Keep an eye out later in the year when we’ll be profiling Desiree as part of a “Wedding Expert” blog series. Until then, happy wedding planning!

Wedding Advice, Wedding Planning

How to get in shape for your wedding – the groom’s guide

Following our last blog on bridal fitness, we caught up with Damian Rabaud from Alpha Genesis for his groom’s guide to looking awesome in a tux for your big day.

Tailor your body to help your tailor

The key to a groom looking great in their tux starts in the fit of the tailoring. Strong lines (the fit of the tux) should fit nicely across the shoulders and taper into the waist line. However, meet your tailor half way by having those features to begin with – that way the tailoring will enhance them even more.

How? You’ll need to build up that classic V-taper in your upper body by developing your traps (upper back), medial delts (the sides of the shoulders), and your lats (the sides of the back).

Try this superset to build the V-Taper:

Keep it simple to slim down

There’s no tailoring for your face, so if you want to further enhance those elegant lines of your tux, a strong jaw line is a must! So it’s time to trim some body fat.

Every morning, set a timer for 10min, with the timer set to go off every minute (there’s plenty of free interval timers available for your smart phone for free). Every time the timer goes off, change exercises. When you’re done, write down the amount of reps you managed to do in the minute – and try to beat it the next day.

Try this fat trimming set:

Be patient

It takes time to get results – so keep it simple, start early and be patient! It’s about building it up over time, not quick results (and with wedding planning normally taking well over a year, you’ve got the time!)

Alpha Genesis is a personal training gym located in Dairy Flat on Auckland’s North Shore. Set up specifically to cater to you as an individual, the private environment allows them to get to know every client as a person. They’re committed to tailoring your work out to fit your goals, whether that be just entering into the world of fitness, or a battle hardened gym goer looking to be pushed further. Sign up for a free consultation so you can bring out your Alpha and become the best you can possibly be.

Wedding Advice, Wedding Planning

Getting in shape for your wedding day – the bridal edition

It seems to be just part of the process to lose weight for your wedding – but how can you do it in a way that doesn’t make wedding planning even more stressful, and doesn’t lead to you putting on the “newlywed ten” straight after the big day?

Owner of 101 Fitness, Melissa-Anne Smit, shares her top tips for getting in shape – and staying in shape.

Make small changes, not huge ones

When you’re planning a wedding, there’s already so much going on that it can be overwhelming. Start early so that you can make small lifestyle changes instead of feeling pressured to lose ten kilos in three months, and be patient with yourself – it does take time!

Don’t overdo it

One of the biggest mistakes that people make is over-training – working out every single day and never allowing their bodies to recover. Doing too much actually makes your body retain fat, so make sure you give yourself rest days in between big workouts for your body to rebuild. Recovery allows the body to replenish energy stores and optimise protein synthesis (the process of increasing the protein content of muscle cells, preventing muscle breakdown and increasing muscle size), enabling the truly positive effects of the workout to take place.

Find a solution to fit your personality

Before I got married, I thought that taking up running would be the best way to get in shape for the wedding day – and while it helped towards that, I hated absolutely every moment of it and gave it up the second Jay and I were married. If you want to get in shape without hating it – and keep up your good habits post wedding – it’s essential that you find a solution to fit your personality. Whether it’s long walks, dancing, weight training, or anything active you can think of – just go for something that you enjoy (or at the very least don’t hate!)

Pay attention to your muscles

Burning fat is not just about cardio. Sure, cardio may burn more calories than muscle building while you’re doing it – but your muscles will continue to burn calories 24/7. 500-1000 grams of extra muscle won’t make you look bulky, but will burn 10,000 calories more per month – and besides, toned looks so much better than flabby.

Up your liquid content – and not just water

Whether it’s your engagement party, having a few wines when planning the wedding with your girlfriends, or just being out for drinks on a Friday with the team from work, alcohol sure does dehydrate you. Whenever you have even just one drink, make sure you’re rehydrating yourself – and not just with water. Up your liquid content by making sure you’re eating watery foods, like spinach, zucchini, and potato – try having a hashbrown the next morning to rehydrate (but make sure you toast it instead of frying it)!

Always eat something small before events

Have you ever gone to the supermarket hungry? How did that turn out? Same deal applies when you show up to a party with a growling stomach and your mouth watering – you’ll make a bunch of unhealthy choices because everything looks “so good”. Make sure you eat something small – preferably protein – before you head off to any event or social opportunity.

Have an accountability partner

Whether it’s your fiancé, your maid of honour, or your mum – get someone to hold you accountable for whatever you say you’re going to do, whether it’s cutting down on sugar, going to the gym three times a week or popping out for a run each day before work. Even better, work out with them – you won’t want to let each other down and you may find that you end up getting better results if you’re a little competitive. That’s why we offer two on one personal training – it’s a fantastic way for you and your partner to get in shape together while still getting the personal touch.

101 Fitness is a special training concept based on high-intensity training for just 25 minutes once or twice a week. Personal training to fit into your schedule – they’ll have you looking toned and fit for your big day. And as a special offer for Honeypotters, come try two sessions for $29 and bring your groom or maid of honour for free! Call 09 940 7744 or email info@101fitness.co.nz to book (just mention this article!)