Most of our blogs come from the bride’s perspective, so we thought we’d let a guy loose on one for once. Here, Honeypot co-founder Shane points out exactly why (and how) you need to be an involved groom.
Your fiancée is excited for it, her girlfriends are excited for it, the mums are excited for it and you’re… (kind of) fine with it… I guess…
Oh it’ll definitely be a great exciting day! But planning for it? Hmm… wouldn’t have a clue… Best leave it to the girls to sort out…
That’s probably an over simplified, stereotyped summary of the male perspective, but weddings aren’t really “our thing” right?
As a groom-to-be, whether these thoughts go through your head in some iteration or another, one thing is absolutely certain – you should be involved in planning your wedding!
Yours, not just hers
It’s not just hers! Your wedding celebrates and reflects both you and your fiancée. Your friends and family want to be a part of your relationship so make sure that you have an input in how the day will go.
Express your ideas for things that you want to include in the wedding even if you end up having to cull them for budget or logistical reasons. Make an effort to have the wedding reflect your tastes and be passionate about them. The more things that you’re excited to have as part of the wedding, the more involved you’ll want to be in making that a reality.
As awesome as your fiancée is, she probably doesn’t know exactly how she wants everything to be. Your genuine input goes a long way to working through those tedious decision making times.
Maybe you don’t care what the centre pieces will be, but she’s narrowed the options down to white or red flowers – which one do you like the best? Even if your fiancée vetos your choice, your act of consideration will have helped her make the final choice. And you didn’t really mind either way right?
Chances are her wedding support group will largely be made of other females so a genuinely interested male’s opinion could bring a new perspective to things (plus, despite common belief, not all women actually want to have to make all the decisions all the time).
Many hands make light work
Having to vet and book multiple suppliers, coordinate the timings of specific items plus managing your daily lives on top of all of it all – weddings are a logistical exercise and a half! Even if your fiancée has got everything under control, she’s probably still super stressed out about it. Take the initiative and share the work load.
Organising anything groom-side specific should already be on your list. But other things like booking the weddings cars or the music don’t necessarily have to be coordinated with other items so can easily be picked up and organised separately.
Think about skills you’re good at. If you’re good with handling money, be in charge of putting aside funds and making sure the deposits are paid on time. If you’re a great negotiator, be the one to arrange the pricier parts of the wedding. If you love problem solving, get stuck in with decisions where there are lots of different variables to consider – the guest list and the seating plan will be right up your alley. Or perhaps the honeymoon could be your domain – plan an amazing honeymoon, and then get help getting there through a personalised Honeypot registry!
Need some help knowing what to help with?
The more input you have the more you’ll connect with the wedding planning and the easier it’ll be to take responsibility and help make it happen. Too far out the other side though… Groomzillas are a thing too!